The Tree Frog in Me

My wrist ligament is sprained, and it’s been over three weeks since I’ve been able to make it to the dojang properly.

When I could go anytime I wanted, going to the dojang always felt like such a chore. Now that I can’t, the old saying about being unable to sit still comes to mind unbidden.

After a stubborn ten days of resting completely from training, I felt a bit better, so a couple of days ago I went to the 5 o’clock swordsmanship class.

We trained the basics of coordinating hand and foot movement during a front cut, and building on that, I paired up with some white belts to practice ken awase — and it turned out to be far from easy.

Ignorance really was bliss… (well, “bliss” might be a stretch — more like I never stopped to wonder why we even do this.)

Once regular class ended, the real training began.

400 front cuts with coordinated hands and feet.

Since my wrist hurt, I trained cutting with as little grip strength as possible, trying instead to cut “with the body,” or “with the back,” or “with the knees.” Slowly, back and forth in front of the mirror, 15 steps forward, 15 steps back. I don’t know if I was doing it right or not, but with almost any movement, once you pass around the 300 repetition mark, a little “aha” moment tends to arrive. (It doesn’t show up if someone talks to you in the middle, though.)

Maybe this is what Master Kanaya meant, over ten years ago, when he said that when one door closes, another door opens.

I remembered something a senior once told me — that the key isn’t to grip with force in your palm, but to cut with an “empty hand.”

Whether it’s Aikido or swordsmanship, what seems to matter is the effort to embody power that comes not from some localized muscle, but from the whole body — entrusting yourself, as part of the earth, to gravity itself. Otherwise, you’re just moving your body for the sake of moving it. (It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but that’s exactly what I’d been doing for over ten years.)

Better late than never — time to put it into practice right away. Though, seriously, when is this wrist going to heal.